Dragon Fart Facts
" " is the first episode of the full play through of Shovel Knight on Game Grumps. Commentary “Arin: Welcome! Danny: Oh God yes! Arin: To Shovel Knight! Danny: Fuck yeah. Arin: I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life! Danny: Have you? Arin: Yes. Well, since it was announced. Danny: *laughs* I love the fuckin’ theme music. Arin: Oh, I know. Dude, that’s-that’s my boy. That’s Jake Kaufman. Jake Burt Kaufman. Danny: Jake Kaufman! Probably Jewish! Arin: Yo, so Jewish, dawg! Danny: Oh, man. Arin: And he’s got a Jewish dog! Danny: *laughs* Arin: Named Nugget. He’s a good guy. Danny: Sweet. Arin: *deciding on character name* What’s our name? Danny: Uh, that’s your call, man. This is your game. Arin: Beenis. *laughs* Danny: *laughs* Off to an amazing start. Arin: *In an accent* Beenis. Danny: Do it, Beenis. Arin: I want to touch your beenis. Danny: Eyy, you can’t just come in and touch my beenis. Arin: ‘Course I can, I’m going to touch your beenis. Danny: That’s not cooool. *reading the in-game text* Long ago, the lands were untamed and roamed by legery reve- Arin: *laughs* Tell us more, Rocco! Danny: Okay! Of all heroes, none shone brighter, than shovel knigh shield knigh. Arin: They’re very shiny. They’re get their armor shined at the local market. Danny: But their travels together ended at Tower of Fate. When a curse amulet wrought a- *mumbles* Arin: Oh no! The magic is terrible. Danny: Terri-bleh. When Shovel Knight awoke, the tower was sealed and Shield Knight was *gasps* Gone. Arin: Shield Knight was gone. Danny: Shield Knight was gone. Arin: That’s the love of his life! Danny: Oh no! Spirit broken, a grieving Shovel Knight went into a life of solitude. Arin: *laughs* Heh, he’s just digging. Danny: That’s so sad! Arin: At least he’s doing what he loves. Danny: Yeah… Arin: But then… Danny: Without champions, the land was seized by a vile power: The Enchantress and her Order of no Quarter. Arin: The Order of no Quarter. Danny: Oh, damn. Do you think, that- Arin: Gumball machine. Danny: Ohh… Arin: What do I think what? Danny: Oh, uh… now the tower is unsealed and devastation looms. A new adventure is about to begin! Arin: OH MY GOD! Danny: Let’s fucking do it! Arin: So what do I think? Danny: Uh, do you think it’s too much of a Ross joke if I say he lives by the code of shovelry? *quietly laughs* Dammit! *laughs* Arin: That was just a good joke. *mumbles* Danny: Oh, yay! Thank you. Arin: Doesn’t matter who makes it. Danny: It was just that you were taking a sip from, uh… Arin: From a tea? Danny: Yeah, that’s why you weren’t able to, uh, to give the amazing laughter that- what the fuck am I looking at right now? Arin: Heh, okay, this is-this is, I’m a Shovel Knight! That’s my power: the shovel. Danny: Oh, oh. I remember. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Arin: I get to dig up things. That’s my power. And I can also go- I can also go boink! *bounces on enemy and laughs* With my shovel, like DuckTales! You remember that game? Danny: Yes, yes, I do. Arin: The one that crashed on us? Danny: I remember how it fuckin’ freezed up on us. Arin: Heh heh, yeah. This is currently my favorite game of all time. Danny: Oh, this is great! So, alright. You use your shovel for bouncing, for bashing, for killing, for digging… Arin: Uh, pretty much everything. Yeah, yeah. Shovel-The shovel’s the number one tool. *gets hit by bubble in-game* Ow. Danny: Oh. Dude, did you just get injured by a bubble? Arin: Well… *laughs* Danny: Weird. Arin: It’s a bubble made of like- acid rain. Danny: It’s just farts. AHH! Arin: *laughs* Danny: Lose half a heart. Arin: It just pops and you’re like… *breathes in* UGH! *both Arin and Danny laugh* Danny: That’s… that’s a shame. Ah, this is cool, man! Arin: Yeah, I-I know. I know. I like how the duck is just bending my legs, so I- This was totally intentional, I’m sure it was. Like, there’s no duck, there’s just- *shows off the crouch animation* Danny: Heh! *laughs* Arin: So you can do it with the music! *crouches several more times* Danny: *laughs* Yeah! Now we’re partying! I also like that sky. Oh, well, it’s gone now. *sees dragon miniboss* Hey, buddy! Arin: It’s a giant dragon! Danny: Awwwww… Arin: And he’s gonna die. Danny: He’s got very severe scoliosis. Arin: Ehhh! Oh yeah, he totally does! His spine! Danny: Yeah, he’s like: ‘I’m just gonna shoot out three, harmless bubbles.’ Arin: Heh, Bleh. Danny: *laughs* Arin: Bleh. I’m out. I’m outta bubbles. Danny: Just kidding they’re filled with dragon farts! Arin: *laughs and makes an odd noise* You’d think if dragons were real that would be like a problem. Danny: Dragon farts? Arin: Oh, yeah! Because they like breathe fire and everything and it’s like, ‘Oh no dragons are coming!’ But like, if they show up and they don’t- and they’re harmless, but then they fart. Danny: I was at- at a, um… eh, at the museum, uh, the dinosaur exhibit, a couple weeks ago. And, uh, there was a thing there about how dinosaur gas- like when the dinosaurs got so huge in the Jurassic Period that, um, they were just unleashing, like, ungodly apatosaurus farts. Arin: *laughs* Danny: That, it actually changed the, um, uh… the temperature of the earth. Arin: Whaat? Danny: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Arin: No… Danny: S-sure, methane gas, like, being excreted at an extremely high rate? Arin: Wow. Danny: By thousands of gigantic creatures? Well, millions. Makes sense. Arin: Jesus. Danny: Yeah. So everybody, listen up! Fuckin’ hold in your farts. Arin: Dude, that’s global warming. Danny: If you care about… our survival as a people. Arin: Global werming. Danny: You’re going to single-handedly kill us all, Arin! Arin: *laughs* I do fart quite often. Danny: *laughs* Arin: I’m proud of it, too! Danny: Thanks for noticing. Okay! Arin: *laughs* Danny: Is that a giant dinner bell? Arin: Yeah, check it. *opens the dinner plate* Mmm, chicken. Danny: Ahhhhh, secret chicken. Arin: That’s right. Danny: I know your feelings about that. Arin: Mm. Danny: Er, for it. Arin: I love fuckin’, secret wall chicken, dude. Danny: Mm? Arin: But, at least it’s preserved in a dinner plate, y’know? Like, it’s covered. Danny: Yeah, exactly. Arin: So, it’s not gonna rot. Danny: So help me God, if my fuckin’, like, cave chicken isn’t served in a traditional chafing dish, I’m fuckin’ outta that resturaunt. Arin: Heh, heh. Ahhh, the good ol’ year of 1949… Danny: *in an old man’s voice* You’ll be hearing about this on Yelp in 60 years! Arin: Heh! Danny: Pfffft… Arin: Heh! That chicken was 60 years old! Aged perfectly. With hops and barley… Danny: God, the 40’s were a long time ago! Arin: Heh heh! Alright, check this out, watch this. Danny: I like this guy. Arin: *opens up a secret passage* Ohhhhhh! Danny: Woah, damn! Arin: What a secret! Danny: You can dig through the darkness? Arin: I know all the secrets. Except there’s prolly a lotta secrets I don’t know. Danny: Yeah. Arin: But still. Danny: Oh, rummage rummage. Arin: I can take it- I can take credit for it. Danny: This is awesome. What do- uh, diamonds do? Arin: You can use them to buy things- it’s your gold. It’s your currency. Danny: Marvelous. Arin: But you get an achievement for not getting any gold. Danny: Really? Arin: Yeah. Danny: Interesting. Arin: You can go through a whole level without getting gold. I think it’s called like, ‘Poor Manners’ or something like that. Danny: ‘Unselfish’. Arin: Heh, yeah. Danny: *imitating Shovel Knight* I’ll just leave this here for some- like a- like someone who doesn’t- who can’t afford a shovel. Arin: Steven Seagal in, uh, deep sea- g’whatever that movie was. Danny: Oh God. *imitating Steven Seagal* I’m just a cook. Arin: Heh, where he like shows up at like, a drug bust and there’s all this money everywhere and he’s just like, ‘Whatever!’ and he just walks out and leaves the money there. Danny: *laughs* He’s so stupid. Arin: And it’s like, ‘Ehh, I don’t think Steven Seagal would actually do that.’ Danny: Nah, pretty sure- Arin: *dies in-game* Aaaaaugh! Danny: Damn. Arin: So if you die, you lose a little bit of cash. And then you can go back and get that cash! Danny: Just like real life. Arin: *laughs* You can just pay off the devil. Danny: I like this, um- this was what I was trying to say before, these lines in the sky. Those weird horizontal lines. I don’t know why, they r-they remind me of something from my youth. Arin: Really? Danny: Perhaps, Epyx’s California games on Commodore 64? Arin: Oh, shit! Danny: Yeah. Did you ever play that? Arin: Oh, yeah. It is very like, Commodore 64-esque. Danny: Yeah, it’s- this game has like, you can’t put your finger on like h- like what type of old-school it is, but it’s like, old-school in many, many ways. Arin: It’s-it’s 8-Bit, it’s NES, bro. Danny: For sho’. Arin: That was the whole point- Welp. *skeleton falls off cliff* Danny: See ya later. He fought valiantly. Arin: *does the Shovel Knight crouch and both Arin and Danny laugh* Danny: Now I will dance upon his grave. Arin: His second grave. Danny: Yeah. Arin: ‘Cause he’s a skull man. Danny: Oh yeah. Arin: Gotta think about the intricacies of the situation. Danny: You’re probably right. Arin: Mm. Mm, diamonds. Ooh, gold. Danny: I always wondered how like, skeleton people in video games, like, that are bad guys or like minions, like- did the ultimate bad guy like dig them up and was like, ‘Oh, now I will teach you in the ways of mmph- battle.’ Y’know? And just, like- I don’t know. Arin: Assumably, they were like warriors that died in war or something. Danny: Oh. Arin: And then- and then, like, when y- when- under- the lord guy was like, ‘Rawwwwr’, they’ll just come out of the ground like, ‘PWGH’. Like a hand comes out. Danny: Yeah, just like ready to fuck shit up. Arin: But, you have to be really strong to fuckin’ work your way out of the ground. Danny: Dude, I know. Arin: That’s, fuckin’- It’ll crush you. Danny: It’s- it’s packed. It’s packed nice and tight. Arin: It’ll crush your bones. Danny: Yeah. Arin: So, I d- I don’t know about the physics of that situation. Danny: That’s okay. Arin: I don’t know about the physics of a walking skeleton. *laughs* Danny: *laughs* I’m not sure about the science behind Shovel Knight, I- we’ll have to ask the dude. Arin: Do you wanna see how- do you wanna see how high I can get this beetle? Danny: Yeah! Arin: *fails at trying to get the beetle up higher* Aw, shit! Okay- hold on, let me see if I can get this beetle high. *fails again* Aw, fuck! I fucked up! Ah, okay. Danny: Let me get this beetle high. Arin: Yeah. Danny: Just bust out a joint. Arin: *laughs* Danny: Fuckin’ smoke! Arin: The beetle’s like, ‘No! No, Nark!’ Danny: I was- *sees Black Knight* oh, shit. Arin: *imitating Black Knight* ‘I knew you’d show your face sooner or later. The cerulean coward!’ Dude he’s makin’ fun of how blue I am! Danny: Yeah, that’s fucked up. Arin: ‘Turn back, Shovel Knight! There’s nothing here for you anymore. *imitates Shovel Knight* ‘Stand aside, Black Knight! I’ve no quarrel with you. I must return to the Tower of Fate!’ Danny: I don’t like the way he says Black Knight. Arin: *laughs* And how it’s all red and evil. Blaaack Knight. Danny: *laughs* Aw, no. Arin: *imitating Black Knight* ‘Your time has dulled your senses… can’t you see? This- uh, entire valley has been conquered by the Enchantress! And her invincible knights- Danny: He’s like, ‘Let me finish! Let me finish sayin’ shit.’ Arin: ‘-of the Order of No Quarter stand between you and the tower! But none of that matters, because anyone after the Enchantress has to go through me. Steel thy shovel!’ Danny: *laughs* Steel thy shovel. Arin: Yeah, man! He’s also a shovel knight. He’s like a spade knight, though. Look at him. Danny: Yeah. Arin: He’s got like a blade on the end of his shovel. Danny: Woah, woah. Can we not call the black knight a spade knight please, Arin? Jesus. Arin: *laughs* Well it looks like he has like a steel- Danny: I- no, I realize it’s just context, but, my God. Arin: Yo yo yo, right on his head, bro. Uh, it’s so easy! Danny: *laughs* Arin: Ya done, son! Danny: Nice! Arin: Bounce on ya head! Danny: That’s a lot of fuckin’ exposition from a dead man. Arin: *laughs* Maybe you should get a better helmet, bro. Danny: Yeah. Arin: Mm! Danny: A little less time talkin’, a little more time masterin’ that shovel. *Black Knight runs away* Oh, see ya later. Arin: Yeah, he’s not dead. He’ll be around for a long time to come. Danny: Great! Arin: Especially next time on Game Grumps! Danny: Okay! Arin: Wait, hold on. Hold on. Danny: Aw, this is nice. Arin: Yeah. I gotta- I gotta go to sleep now. My campfire. *snores* Danny: Ahhh… Wha-woah-wha? Arin: I have dreams. Danny: Oh, shit… Arin: *gasps* It’s my girly. Danny: Oh, Shield Knight. Arin: I-I-I must catch her. Danny: Oh my God, are you serious? Arin: Ah! Ahh! Ahh! Danny: Ohhhhhhhh! Arin: Come to me! *catches Shield Knight* Danny: Yeah! Arin: Totally got her. Danny: Shouldn’t have caught her with the fuckin’ … speary end of my shovel. Arin: Heh, heh. I-I’m like havin’ dog dreams right now. *makes Shovel Knight shake while he’s asleep* I’m like- Danny: Huh! Heh! Eh! Uh! *laughs* Arin: *makes dog noises* Danny: Your hands start movin’ and like- someone’s like, ‘Awww, he’s having the shoveling dream.’ Arin: *laughs and makes dog noises* Next time on Game Grumps! Maybe I’ll wake up. Danny: Hopefully. Arin: Or maybe I’ll just die here. Danny: Yeah. Short game. Runoff! Arin: *makes dog noises* OH NO EARTHQUAKE! *makes fart noise* Danny: *whistles*" External links * Category:Shovel Knight Episodes Category:Danny and Arin Episodes Category:Episodes